examples and advice
Wording & etiquette
Deciding on the wording for your invitation can seem like a daunting task! I’ve put together this guide to take some of the stress out of the process, and provide sample wording for your wedding invitations. There is lots of conflicting information out there- when in doubt I defer to Emily Post for anything involving wedding etiquette.
I’m sharing my advice about following traditional wedding etiquette, but when all is said and done, it’s your wedding. Make sure you and your partner (and your families) are comfortable with the wording you decide on.
So you’ve decided to send a save the date – but what exactly is a “save the date”? And what details should you include? While there are plenty of etiquette guidelines for wedding invitations, save the dates are often overlooked.
save the dates
invitation to follow (or a line indicating that guests should expect a formal invitation so they know the save the date isn’t the wedding invitation)
travel or accommodations
wedding website
wedding location (city & state)
bride & groom's names
wedding date
save the date (or similar: "mark your calendar" "we're getting married"
The basic details are your names and wedding date, but you can share any combination of these details:
Details to Include
Many couples like to share an engagement photo (or two!) on the save the date, but it’s not required. You can absolutely send a save the date without a photo.
Kindly save the date
for the wedding of
Abigail Jackson
and
Lucas Douglas
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-nine
Chicago, Illinois
formal invitation to follow
Traditional Wording
for save the dates
Save the Date
Abigail Jackson
and
Lucas Douglas
are getting married
April 21, 2029
Chicago, Illinois
for more details, please visit
www.abigailandlucaswedding.com
Option 2
Please save the date
for the wedding of
Abigail Marie Jackson
and
Lucas James Douglas
Saturday, April 21, 2029
Chicago, Illinois
invitation to follow
Option 3
Option 1
Save the Date
Abigail Jackson & Lucas Douglas
April 21, 2029
Chicago, Illinois
formal invitation to follow
Simple Wording
for save the dates
Option 1
Abigail & Lucas
are getting married
04.21.2029 | Chicago, Illinois
www.abigailandlucaswedding.com
Option 2
Save our Date
April 21, 2029
Abigail and Lucas
invitation to follow
Option 3
1. host
The first line of the invitation lists the host(s) of the event. Traditionally, the bride’s parents act as host, but it’s common to have the groom’s parents, both sets of parents, or the bride and groom hosting. You can leave the host line out completely, or alternatively use “together with their families”.
2. request
Use “the honor of your presence” for weddings at a place of worship. “The pleasure of your company” is used for secular locations. The old English spelling of “honour” can be used for traditional or formal weddings.
3. the couple
The bride’s name goes first, followed by the groom’s name. Use only the first and middle name if the parents’ names are listed. Formal invitations include the groom’s title. If the bride’s parents are hosting but you want to list the groom’s parents, do so after the groom’s name.
4. date & time
The date and time should be spelled out. Include a hyphen in numbers over twenty (twenty-three). Including the year is optional, but do not use “and” (two thousand and eighteen is incorrect). “In the afternoon/evening” is optional. Use “half after” for half hours.
5. location
List the ceremony location along with the city and state. The street address is optional (it’s a good idea if the venue is not well known, or if there are multiple venues with similar names in the city), but leave off the zip code.
6. optional information
If the ceremony and the reception are at the same venue, it’s common to include “reception to follow” (or similar wording). If they are at different locations, use a separate card for the reception.
You can include information about the suggested dress code (black tie, formal attire) if the invitation is to the ceremony and reception. Attire is generally listed in the lower right corner of the invitation.
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Jackson
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Abigail Marie
to
Lucas James Douglas
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-nine
at four o’clock in the afternoon
Holy Trinity Church
Chicago, Illinois
Traditional Wording
for invitations
Option 1
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Jackson
together with
Mr. and Mrs. Mason Douglas
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their children
Abigail Marie
and
Lucas James
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-nine
at half after four o’clock
Midtown Loft and Terrace
Chicago, Illinois
Option 2
The pleasure of your company
is requested at the marriage of
Abigail Marie Jackson
and
Mr. Lucas James Douglas
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-nine
at half after four o’clock
Midtown Loft and Terrace
5103 Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
and afterward at the reception
Option 3
bride’s parents hosting at a religious location
both parents hosting at a secular location
couple hosting at a secular location
Traditional Wording
for invitations
Together with their families
Abigail Marie Jackson
and
Lucas James Douglas
request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding ceremony
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-two
at half after four o’clock
Midtown Loft and Terrace
Chicago, Illinois
dinner and dancing to follow
Option 4
Mr. and Mrs. Mason Douglas
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Abigail Marie Jackson
to their son
Lucas James
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-two
at half after four o’clock
Midtown Loft and Terrace
Chicago, Illinois
and afterward at the reception
Option 5
Mrs. Anne Worthington
together with
Mr. Charles Jackson
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Abigail Marie Jackson
and
Lucas James Douglas
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
at four o’clock in the afternoon
Holy Trinity Church
Chicago, Illinois
Option 6
parents and couple hosting
groom’s parents hosting, black tie
bride’s divorced (and remarried) parents hosting, step-parents not listed
black tie
Religious Wording
for invitations
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Jackson
request the honor of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Abigail Marie
and
Lucas James Douglas
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-nine
at four o’clock in the afternoon
Basilica of the Sacred Heart
Notre Dame, Indiana
Option 7
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Jackson
together with
Mr. and. Mrs. Mason Douglas
request the honor of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their children
Abigail Marie
and
Lucas James
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
two thousand twenty-nine
at four o’clock in the afternoon
Basilica of the Sacred Heart
Notre Dame, Indiana
Option 8
With great joy
Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Jackson
Mrs. and Mrs. Mason Douglas
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Abigail Marie
and
Lucas James
Sunday, the twenty-second of April
two thousand twenty-nine
at four o’clock in the afternoon
Central Avenue Synagogue
Highland Park, Illinois
Option 9
bride's parents hosting, Nuptial Mass ceremony
both parents hosting, Nuptial Mass ceremony
both parents hosting, Jewish wedding ceremony
Contemporary Wording
for invitations
Abigail Jackson
and
Lucas Douglas
invite you to join them
as they are united in marriage
April 21, 2029 at 4 o’clock
Midtown Loft and Terrace
Chicago, Illinois
merriment to follow
Option 10
Mr. and Mrs. Mason Douglas
invite you to share their joy
at the marriage of their daughter
Abigail Jackson
to
Lucas Douglas
Saturday, April twenty-first
at four o’clock
Midtown Loft and Terrace
Chicago, Illinois
reception immediately following
Option 11
Because you have shared in our lives
by your friendship and love, we
Abigail and Lucas
invite you to share our joy
as we are united in marriage
Saturday, the twenty-first of April
at half after four o’clock
Midtown Loft & Terrace
Chicago, Illinois
merriment to follow
Option 12
couple hosting
bride's parents hosting
couple hosting
1. title
RSVP is an abbreviation for the French term “répondez s’il vous plait” which translates to “please reply”. (It’s redundant to put “please” or “kindly” before “RSVP” so skip it, or use “please reply”) If you used the old English spelling of “honour” on your invite, use the corresponding “favour” here.
2. reply by date
Make sure to include a response deadline for your guests. It’s traditionally four weeks before your event, but you may want to adjust the date to give yourself more time to put together day of stationery or if your venue needs a headcount earlier.
3. guest names
Include a line for your guests to write their names. Traditionally, an “M” (for Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms.) is included at the start of the line.
4. reply options
Provide a check box or line so your guests can note if they will or will not attend. You can also add a line for guests to indicate the number of people attending, e.g. "___ guests attending".
5. meal choice (optional)
If you're having a plated dinner, you'll want to give guests an option to select their meal preference. You can also ask them to indicate any food allergies or intolerances.
additional events
Add a line for guests to RSVP for additional wedding weekend events, like a welcome dinner or farewell brunch.
online rsvp cards
While they're not the most traditional option, giving the option to RSVP online is convenient for guests and often makes it easier to track your guest list.
Make sure to include a deadline for responding just like a traditional RSVP card.
6. qr code
Including a QR code makes it even easier for guests to access your website - especially if your website address is long or includes special characters.
7. website address
Even if you're using a QR code, write out the website address for less tech-savvy guests (or in case someone has an issues using the QR code).
If your site address is long or includes special characters, consider using a URL shortener (like bitly) to create a short, easy to input URL.
Make sure to include the password if your website uses one.
RSVP
The favor of a reply is requested
by the fifteenth of May
M_____________________________
__accepts
__regrets
Traditional Wording
for RSVP cards
Option 1
Response
Kindly reply on or before
the fifteenth of May
Name(s)_______________________
___will attend __will not attend
___guest(s) attending
Option 2
Kindly reply
by the fifteenth of May
M_____________________________
__joyfully accepts
__regretfully declines
please initial a meal choice:
__chicken __steak __vegetarian
Option 3
Alternate Wording
for rsvp cards
RSVP
Kindly reply by May 15
M_____________________________
__accepts with joy
__declines with regret
Please indicate any food allergies:
_____________________________
Option 4
Response
To RSVP, please visit our
wedding website:
www.abigaillucaswed.com
Kindly reply on or before
the fifteenth of May
Option 5
DETAILS
To RSVP and for additional information about wedding weekend events, please visit:
www.abigaillucaswed.com
password: al20wed
Kindly reply by May 15
Option 6
1. title
“Reception” is the standard heading choice, but alternates like “Celebrate” , “Dinner and Dancing” , or “The celebration continues” are also popular.
2. request
A formal reception card contains a request line like the invitation. Use “the pleasure of your company” for receptions held at secular locations.
3. time
If the reception begins as soon as the ceremony is over, you can use “following the ceremony”. You can also note if there is a cocktail hour, or specify dinner and/or dancing start times.
5. additional details
You could include details like transportation arrangements or parking instructions.
6. Attire
If you’d like guests to follow a certain dress code, you can indicate it on the reception card.
4. location
Include the full name of your reception venue, along with the street address, city, and state. Zip code is optional (but is traditionally omitted).
You can include reception details on the main invite, but a separate card works great too—especially if the reception is in a different spot or if you want to give guests specific start and end times for events. It’s also the perfect place to mention attire.
The reception card is a good chance to let guests know what to expect—so if you’re having a champagne and cake reception, they won’t arrive thinking there’s a full dinner. And while traditional etiquette doesn’t love it, if you’re having an adults-only reception, you can mention that here with a simple “adult reception” note.
reception CARD
And afterward at the reception immediately following the ceremony
Midtown Loft and Terrace
5103 Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Traditional Wording
for reception cards
Option 1
Reception
The pleasure of your company is requested at the reception
at six o'clock in the evening
Omni Chicago Hotel
376 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Option 2
Please join Abigail and Lucas in celebrating their marriage
Midtown Loft and Terrace
5103 Lincoln Avenue
Cocktail hour begins at six o’clock
dinner and dancing to follow
Option 3
black tie
Depending on your wedding, you may need all of the cards we've talked about, just a few, or none at all! You can also combine everything into a multipurpose “information” or “details” insert to simplify your suite or save on costs.
Here are a few common inserts you may want in your invitation suite. For wording samples and examples, visit this blog post on insert cards.
other inserts
If you'd like to share your wedding website, but don't have space for it on another insert, consider using a small card or tag just for the site address.
Website Card
Popular with destination weddings, an itinerary card contains details of other events happening the weekend of your wedding, such as a rehearsal dinner, welcome party, or day after brunch.
Schedule/Itinerary
If you're hosting additional weekend events - like a rehearsal dinner or farewell brunch- you can include an insert with the event details.
Additional Events
It’s traditional to avoid listing a deceased parent as a host, but you can honor them by adding a special line elsewhere, such as on the details card or program, mentioning they are “with us in spirit.”
06. How do we word an invitation if a parent is deceased?
Putting registry information on your invitation is a big no-no etiquette-wise. It can look impolite, or come off like you’re fishing for gifts. Link to your registries on your wedding website, or rely on the old fashioned “word of mouth” option.
05. where should we include registry information?
Use “half after” to indicate weddings that start on the quarter or half hour: “half after four o’clock”. (in the afternoon/evening is optional)
04. how do you write "4;30 pm" on a wedding invitation?
List each parent on separate lines without the word “and” between their names. If either parent is remarried, you can choose to include their spouse’s name, but it’s not required.
03. How do we word our invitation if our parents are divorced but both are hosting?
Attire goes with your reception details, so either on the reception card or at the bottom of the main invitation (if it has reception details).
02. Where do we mention the dress code/attire?
Address the envelopes to only the adults in the household. You can also include a note on an insert card that says “respectfully, an adult-only occasion” or “Adult reception”.
01. How do we let guests know we're not inviting children?
Have a question? I've got an answer! And if you don't see your question here, please reach out via email: sarah@banterandcharm.com
FAQs
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