Save-the-Date Etiquette 101: What to Include, How to Say It, and Why It Matters

Save the dates aren’t just the first piece of wedding mail your guests will receive—they’re the warmup, the friendly “Hey, mark your calendar!” that sets the stage for everything to come. But if you’re not sure what to include (or even if you need one!), don’t worry. I’m here to walk you through save the date essentials, from what they are to how to word them so they feel just right.

 

Save the Date cards are your guests’ first official introduction to your wedding day, and they serve an important purpose: giving your friends and family plenty of time to mark their calendars and make travel arrangements if needed. Typically sent 6-12 months before the wedding, save the dates are especially crucial for destination weddings, if you have guests traveling from out of town, or your wedding falls on a holiday weekend.

They’re simple and straightforward, usually including your names, wedding date, and location (city and state is enough at this stage). You can also hint at the overall theme or vibe of your wedding with the design, whether it’s elegant and formal or casual and fun. Think of them as a preview of the invitation to come, setting the tone while building excitement.

First things first: do you need to send a save the date? They’re not a required wedding stationery item, but if you’re planning a destination wedding, plan to invite a lot of out of town guests, or your wedding date falls on a holiday, it’s nice to give guests extra time to plan.

So you’ve decided to send a save the date – but what exactly is a “save the date”? And what details should you include? While there are plenty of etiquette guidelines for wedding invitations, save the dates are often overlooked.

 

WHAT ARE SAVE THE DATES?

A save the date is a card you mail to guests prior to sending a wedding invitation that shares your wedding date and (optional) location.  Think of them as a friendly heads-up, especially handy if you’re planning a destination wedding, a holiday weekend, or anything that requires a bit of advance planning on your guests’ part. They’re typically sent out six to twelve months before the wedding, giving your nearest and dearest enough time to clear their schedules, book flights, and start counting down the days. It can double as an engagement announcement, and be a chance to introduce your fiancé to family and friends that haven’t met them yet.

Save the dates are a great way to set the tone for your wedding, too! Whether you’re keeping things simple with a classic card or going bold with a magnet or fun postcard, this little announcement lets guests get a feel for what’s to come. Although they don’t need to match your invitations perfectly, it’s nice to keep a cohesive theme such as using the same color palette or fonts.

 

What to Include on Your Save the Date

Save the dates don’t need all the wedding day details—just the basics! Here’s what to include:

1. Your Names Make sure guests know who’s tying the knot! Listing just your first names is fine here unless you want to keep things formal and include your last names.

2. The Wedding Date The main reason you’re sending this out! Add the exact date if you have it set. If you’re still finalizing, you can list the month and year to give guests a general idea.

3. The Location A city and state (or country, if you’re heading somewhere exotic) is all you need for now. You’ll save venue specifics for the formal invitation, but giving a heads-up about the location helps guests start planning.

4. Save the Date (or similar: “save our date” “we’re getting married” “hold the date” “mark your calendar”)

5. Formal Invitation to Follow (or similar: “invitation to follow”)

This line lets guests know that more details are on the way. It also gives you time to finalize your invitation wording and design without feeling rushed.

Optional Extras to Include

While you don’t need much more than the essentials, a few extras can be helpful, too.

–Wedding Website If you’ve set up a wedding website, add the URL to your save the date! Guests can check in for updates, and if they’re eager to know more, you’ll save yourself a few phone calls or texts.

–Accommodation and Travel Details If you know you’ll have a hotel block or travel deals for guests, include those here, especially for destination weddings. This will help guests make arrangements early.

-A Photo (or not!) Many couples like to share an engagement photo (or two!) on the save the date, but it’s not required. You can absolutely send a save the date without a photo.

TRADITIONAL SAVE THE DATE WORDING SAMPLES

These first three save the date wording examples follow traditional wedding etiquette and would be perfect for a formal wedding.

SIMPLE SAVE THE DATE WORDING SAMPLES

These save the date wording examples are a bit simpler – sometimes just the facts are all you need (or want) to share!

INCLUDING ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Maybe you want to keep the front of your save the date simple with a photo and the basic details, but you have more information to share with your guests. That’s where the back of the card can come in handy!

Add another photo, details about travel and accommodations, your wedding website, or more.

When to Send Save the Dates

For local weddings, mailing save the dates 6-8 months ahead of time is perfect. For destination weddings or holiday weekends, consider sending them 8-12 months in advance so guests can plan travel, request time off work, and book accommodations.

If your wedding is fast-approaching, you can skip save the dates and go straight to invitations, especially if it’s within four months of the big day.

 

Do You Have to Send Save the Dates?

Not necessarily! Save the dates are helpful but optional, especially for smaller, more intimate weddings where you’re already in close contact with everyone on the guest list. If you’re on a tight timeline or budget, you can skip them or send digital save the dates. It’s all about what works best for you.

Start the Excitement Early

Save the dates are like the opening act to your wedding—they set the tone, help guests prepare, and get everyone looking forward to your big day. Whether you go classic and simple or add a playful touch, your save-the-date card is a chance to make an impression that’s as unique as you are.

If you’re ready to start planning, I’d love to help design a save the date that’s perfect for your wedding! Reach out anytime to explore all the options and start crafting a piece of stationery that will get guests excited from the moment it lands in their mailbox.

Want to see the save the dates previous Banter & Charm brides have sent? Visit the Save the Date gallery to get inspired! Or if you’re ready to get started, schedule a consultation so we can brainstorm unique ways to create a save the date that is a perfect match to your wedding style!